There’s a conversation you’d probably overhear at 8:34 A.M. on a wet Tuesday morning in a lightly prom-stained ballroom at a suburban Holiday Inn, over a stale danish and cup of crap coffee.
Scrolling through LinkedIn — especially if you’re connected to the advertising agency or marketing world — is a lot like that. It can feel like you’re surfing down a waterfall of hot takes. And, of course, by hot takes we mean “bad, totally unsolicited, over-hyped, generalized, pre-packaged bullsh*t.” And by waterfall, we mean “a cascade of water falling from a cretain height.”
We’re not mixed metaphor people around here.
But just for the hell of it: We did waterfalls. Now, zombies.
On any given day on LinkedIn, you can read all about why, how, and where all SEO marketing is dying. Or how it’s living. Or maybe, maybe it’s like… you know… the undead, forever doomed to roam the earth as a braindead monster among hundreds of other braindead monsters.
(Like some marketers we know.) (Zing!)
The truth is, those slinging this garbage are, by-and-large, more interested in peddling uninformed opinions than genuine solutions. Here at Rock Candy Media, we hate these people. In fact, every night, before we tuck ourselves in, we pray that Google becomes smart enough to CHOPS OFF THEIR HEADS.
As you can see, we’re very passionate.
In actuality, we have an office-wide inkling that Google will learn how to push disingenuous crap further down the page, then off the page, then on to a conveyor belt, then into a rocketship. And then fire it into the sun.
This type of content nevers deserves readers, but marketers and advertisers churn it out all the time.
Not just on LinkedIn either.
Blogs, site copy, social copy, email marketing, and just about everything you see these days is composed of 100% dead-eyed, no-pulse filler.
Punishing that is more or less the direction Google is heading with search. They reward zombies for sounding like human beings. Thankfully, these days they at least punish the cheap tricks that used to be common practice, like “keyword stuffing.”
Bill’s Hardware store is the hardware store with all the hardware in store so hop in your driving hardware, grab your “store”-ing wheel, and drive your hardware to our store. Bill’s Hardware store. Brought to you by Bill.
(I swear to God if we rank for this I owe everybody here a drink)
Google obviously figured that out.
And, as its algorithm becomes more intelligent, it will eventually deem us all unworthy of this planet and subjugate the entire human race.
But before Google enslaves mankind…
It’s not hard to imagine a future — a beautiful, carefree future! — where Google’s crew punishes writing for being insincere and sterile, for sounding like some business try-hard’s lame LinkedIn post, or for being downright, no-holds-barred boring, just as they once did for sounding repetitive and gaming the system.
Will it be unfair when Google gets to decide what’s good marketing and what isn’t? Yeah, of course. Will it be bad for the ad agencies and marketing firms, who hired writers who aren’t freakin’ writers?
Hell yeah it will be.
But it won’t be bad for us. We’re kicking up our feet up with some margs, sitting next to Lake Austin, just waiting for the day.
We know hiring good writers already behooves your business, especially if you care about retaining visitors, establishing a brand, converting leads into sales, turning brand awareness into brand advocacy, and just looking like a company people want to do business with.
Google is going to want your copy, blogs, and meta to sound not only like they were written by a person, but also like they were written by an interesting person.
And, as you can see here, Rock Candy Media has those people.