Task Monkeys

This all starts with a black & white ad, and the message was simple: This dishwasher will save you so much time you can go outside and play with the family dog! You can play with your kids! You can be the wifey you always wanted to be!

So nothing has changed. We still can’t buy time. That being said, I have to rant about email. I remember getting my first email address in college. It was all official with the ‘.edu’ and everything. Sending my first zipped file blew my mind. I turned to my boyfriend at the time and exclaimed “I LOVE email! I’m going to get so much done!”

I only forgot one major factor with that proclamation: Everyone else can get ‘so much’ done too. I’ll never forget my boyfriend coming back with ‘You know what that means right?” I can actually feel my eye roll now. Then the kicker: “It means whatever our parents did, multiply it by 500.”

He was right. Now I see the best creative minds reduced to pieces of dust when faced with the task of ‘being responsive’. Do I know how to solve this problem? No. Do I know that I hate anything that completely obliterates the big picture like email does? Yes.

For example, we have meetings where we talk about what the 5 year goal is. Let’s say it’s opening another office in Brooklyn. Send out an email after said meeting with bullet points and all of a sudden all the minds money can buy are replying back with “what about this picture for the office?” and “can we have ergonomic chairs? and “can we get kombucha on tap?”

What’s the answer?

Respond to your boss’ emails first. Then finish that task. Carry on with your bad self after and worry about the rest after you’re so proud of your deliverables you can’t wait for to brag to your mom (or dog or whatever). We tried all the solutions that supposedly make email more productive and organized, but they all rely on people getting email notifications to remind them to check the damn app.

What comes after email?

For the record, I love fax. Want my attention? Send me a fax!